The King of Kong

The verdict: A surprisingly genuine and inspirational story of a man's struggle to be his own man, and be the best in the world... at Donkey Kong.

The rating: 8/10

This is a movie about video games, but I'm not talking about MMORPG's, Nintendo Wiis, Playstations, or even Sega Megadrives. The games featured in this movie pre-date Commodore 64's and possibly even the 2600 from Atari. We're talking arcade games here, and the originals, such as Donkey Kong, Pacman, Q-Bert and Frogger. 'The King of Kong' tracks the origins and development of the people who hold the world records at these classic video games, and how since 1982, the competition to hold one of these records has been as fierce as in any competitive sport - I kid you not.

Since 1982, Billy Mitchell has held the record at Donkey Kong, but this is really someone else's story. I was surprised how involved I got in this tale of Steve Wiebe, (pronounced wee-bee) a normal, honest, hard-working guy who loved his wife and kids, but somehow never lived up to his potential. His father pushed him to be the pitcher for the school baseball team, and expected him to follow in his footsteps, becoming an engineer at Boeing, and work there for the rest of his life. Steve didn't really live up to his old man's expectations however, leaving baseball behind to play the drums with his garage band, and getting laid off from Boeing the day he signed mortgage papers with his wife.

As his wife says in the movie, Steve was 'searching for something', and one day heard of the organisation known as 'Twin Galaxies', established by Walter Day - the self-appointed regulator of all video game world record attempts - back in 1982. Wiebe took it upon himself to go for the top score, and set about trying to beak Billy Mitchell's world record.

Now, I don't want to tell you more about this movie, because it really caught me off-guard. At first, I found myself amused by the nerdy characters involved in the 'Twin Galaxies' crew, but gradually, I was taken in. The story becomes something that Will Ferrell could option for himself, with Billy Mitchell every inch the real life 'Ben Stiller from Dodgeball' of video gaming. Meanwhile, Wiebe is the honest guy just trying to make a mark for himself.

I don't want to spoil it for you, but I heartily recommend this movie. The filmmaker Seth Gordon understands that the people involved can tell the story better than anyone, and wisely stays behind the camera, letting the protagonists play out the drama for us, building slowly towards a guinness world record attempt, and a live showdown between Billy Mitchell (boo!) and Steve Wiebe (hooray!).

The story is strong enough to transcend video games, and could be transposed to any sporting scenario, or situation involving a struggle for glory. All the central characters have given part of their lives to this story, and it is worth hearing as a result. Seek this out, and you won't be disappointed.

No news yet of an Irish release date, but click here for the (rather noisy) official site.

Goal 2: Living the Dream

The verdict: Ok, so it's only slightly less ridiculous than the first instalment, but (*cough*) the football action is very well filmed.

The rating: 5/10

The continuing existence of this franchise is something of a minor miracle, considering the revenues of the first, cliché-riddled, lamentably awful instalment. However, it may be a fortuitous case of life reflecting art - and I use the word in the loosest sense in relation to this film - but Santiago Munez' career takes a turn for the better in this sequel, and overall, this is a better film than the first epsiode.

Bear in mind though folks, that's not saying much! I don't think Goal 2: Living the Dream is intended to appeal to anyone other than those who would already consider themselves confirmed fans of The Beautiful Game.

I mean, the first episode had weighty themes of the 'believe in yourself and you can achieve anything' variety to tackle. This episode treats altogether more tabloid storylines such as 'how to cope when you crash your lamborghini and punch a paparazzo'. In this, at least, it provides an altogether purer form of escapism than the first episode.

Santiago Munez (Kuno Becker) joins his former team mate Gavin Harris (Alessandro Nivola) at Real Madrid early in the movie, and struggles to get into the first team. The crew were given unprecedented access to Real's facilities during production, so the likes of Beckham, Zidane, Ronaldo and (*cough*) Thomas Gravesen continually potter about in the background, occasionally high-fiving one of our two heroes in the midst of a training montage, or some such. Occasionally the real Real players get lines in the movie, but the film-makers obviously learned from Becks' heinous spoken role in the first episode, and restrain their dramatic demands on the players, letting them do most of their talking on the pitch.

Off the pitch, Santi's having girl trouble, and how. His Newcastle girlfriend, played by Anna Friel, is finding the move to Madrid tough, given that she is still working towards exams at the Newcastle hospital, and only spending the odd weekend in Madrid. At the same time, Santiago's receiving special attention from a certain Spanish tv presenter named Jordana, a Penelope Cruz lookalike (but with a better nose) and this puts a real strain on their relationship.

So, Munez becomes a super-sub, and a Real star, but also discovers his long lost mother in Madrid... Will all his off-field struggles combine to cause mental problems in his game? Will he do the dirt on Anna Friel? Will he reconcile with his mother? Will Thomas Gravesen have a spoken part in this movie?

Yes folks, just like in an episode of 'Dream Team' or 'Footballers Wives', there are many questions to be answered in this movie. However, the on-field action is the primary attraction of this movie, and this at least is put together exceptionally well. When on the pitch, the footage of the fictional characters interacts with that of the genuine Madrid players seamlessly, and with the exception of a few moments that are straight out of an X-Box simulation (every goal Munez scores seems to be an acrobatic bicycle kick in the last minute) the on-field action is great and very watchable.

So, it's a feather-light football movie for fans of the game, but it's a big improvement on the first episode. Kuno Becker is likeable in the lead role, and his team-mate (Nivola) is a loveable rogue kind of character. Friel, too, has more to do in this one, and Rutger Hauer is a useful enough addition to the cast as the Madrid gaffer, even if he does phone in a performance that wouldn't make a Guiness Ad out-take. Too many montages, pat story-telling, and a high number of cliches mean this will never be anything approaching high art or even multiplex fodder, but it's an agreeable, if completely dopey ninety minutes during a summer without football.

The third instalment of this franchise is on the way, apparently. I find it difficult to believe that it will get the green light however, unless they can continue the Beckham link... Munez to sign for the LA Galaxy perhaps?

Iron Ladies

The verdict: It does have some redeeming qualities beyond the novelty value… it’s fairly well acted (except for the coach) and the theme of acceptance is handled well for roughly half the movie, getting heavy-handed towards the end, where the zaniness also ruins it a little.

Craziness: It’s pretty crazy, but not always in a zany sense, just the concept (which is a true story)… and most of the characters… and, um, the musical number.

The rating: 6/10


'Iron Ladies' is the true story of the male volleyball team that won the Thai National Championships in 1996 against all the odds. So you might be forgiven for thinking it's in the mould of inspirational rise-of-the-underdog Hollywood sporting stories such as 'Remember the Titans' or 'Coach Carter'? Weeellll… not… quite. I might defer to the blurb on the back of the DVD case here, and I quote: "Their skills and talents of playing volleyball are second to none. What matter is that most of them are gays."

Ahem... 'nuff said really. Essentially Iron Ladies tells the story of a group of guys who were good at a particular sport, but not allowed play because they batted for the other side. (And not in a sporting sense. Mwaa ha! – Ed). Not to be put off though, the lads clubbed together, and formed a team good enough to win the national championships, and gain massive media attention, winning over the Thai nation in the process.

The team members pretty much represent the entire spectrum of homosexuality, from the token straight guy, to the guy still in the closet, the openly gay one, the flamboyantly open, the flamboyantly feminine, the transgender one, and of course the camp triplets. I didn’t make any of that up by the way, and neither apparently did the film-makers, as this story can be verified by the archive newsreel footage that plays during the closing credits. These guys are represented pretty faithfully by the looks of things, and the archive footage is almost better than the movie to be honest.

The story is from a very familiar boiler-plate, but with such a fundamental variation from the traditionally alpha-male dominated sports flick, that it almost manages to hold the interest through to the end, despite being eventually loaded with clichés, bad acting and one very sketchy musical number.

The first half of the movie is the stronger, with two friends Mon and Jung deciding against a move to Bangkok because they want to try out for the district 5 volleyball team. Mon is used to rejection for being gay, despite being great at the sport, and is ready to quit, but Jung, an irrepressible flamer - pardon the expression - with a mouth as foul as a Glasgow welder, persuades him to stay and try out for the district 5 team.

The lads try out, and are picked, but the macho alpha male Mann persuades everyone on the team to quit, possibly in protest at having to play for a team that isn’t quite sure which showers to use after practice. Actually, not everyone quits, one guy stays because he can’t stand the homophobic views the posturing Mann. (So he ends up being 'the only straight in the village?' Tee hee – Ed) So, the lads are forced to assemble a team themselves, and this leads to the eventual assembly of a crew so damn motley, even Tommy Lee can't watch.

'Iron Ladies' plays with the audience's curiosity factor in the team's novelty value, in that there is a real sense of awe that this film is actually unfolding on screen in front of your eyes, but also the double whammy of it actually being a true story. This reflects the media treatment the Iron Ladies got when they went on to go on a successful run in the Thai National Volleyball championships in 1996.

There are themes going on here too though, mainly in the first half of the movie. Jung's parents are totally accepting of their son's situation, and are great with him, but Wit – the kid still in the closet – isn’t so lucky, and the media coverage the rest of the Iron Ladies enjoyed didn't work out quite so well for him. The acceptance of the tournament organisers is questionable too, and this leads to some fairly predictable panto-style cum-uppances in the second half of the movie. (Ooh, pardon? More tea, vicar!? – Ed)

So it does descend into sports movie cliché eventually, but the first hour of the film is very likeable, with the main characters not just comically camp cardboard cutouts, but actually displaying genuine personality under the flaming facades.

The musical number towards the end is kind of car-crash viewing, but I don’t know, maybe that’s normal in Thai films… (Not in Tony Jaa movies – Ed). Thankfully, either the lighting is so bad, or the international DVD quality so poor that I couldn’t really see it all that well. Unfortunately, the sound was fine….

Eventually it all becomes a 'be yourself and you can achieve anything' Hollywood-style movie in the same vein as something like 'When Saturday Comes' except with Sean Bean replaced by Dale Winton, and the rest of Sheffield United team played by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, the Pet Shop Boys, and those lads from Little Britain. (Sounds like a Bafta vehicle to me – Ed)

Unsurprisingly, given its domestic success, Iron Ladies has spawned a successful sequel (prequel actually - Ed) in Thailand. However, though this one had serious novelty value, I won’t be rushing out to get my hands on the next Iron Ladies outing. (Oooh, Pardon!? More tea Vicar!? … ahem – Ed)

Goal!

First off, Goal is a movie about football (soccer)... still with me? Ok, lost most of you already I'd imagine, but there are examples of good movies involving football... er... honestly.. and Escape to Victory isn't the only one... I'm almost positive...

Let's be honest, movies featuring sport do tend to be woeful, but movies featuring American sports (generally with a recognisable lead actor playing a coach) tend to do rather well at the box office. 'Any Given Sunday' is a classic example of the sports movie boilerplate, with Al Pacino slumming it to put a massive box office hit under his belt. This may have been the driving reason behind the production of this by-the-numbers, cliche-laden story of a footballer dreaming of the big time, but perhaps the film-makers' ambitious plan of conceiving it as the first part of a trilogy have been put on ice since it flopped quite spectaculary at the box office. Will it recoup some of those losses from dvd sales? Hmm...

The thing is, if you watch sports regularly, you'll know that the fantastic tales of overnight heroes, plucked from obscurity, and coming on to score in the last minute of the world cup final on their debut (sic) are really quite rare, actually. And if you watch football, you'll know that for every ninety minutes of exhibition football from a team like Barcelona or Arsenal, the majority rarely conjure up the magic moments that make you love the sport, and Newcastle United definitely fall into the majority. But the thing about being a football supporter is, it's the misery of all the mundane moments that make the special ones worthwhile... and this does not for good cinema make!

So thankfully Goal is not about being a football supporter. It does however, portray the story of Santiago (Kuno Becker) is a hard-working mexican immigrant living in L.A., who is spotted playing for a park team by a holidaying former Newcastle United player named Glenn Foy. Foy uses his connections to get Santiago (or Santy, as he is strangely called throughout the movie) a trial with Newcastle United... will he get a contract? Will he get into the first team? Yadda yadda yadda.

The thing about all this is, there are very few surprises with Goal. If he had failed in his trial, the movie wouldn't have quite the same level of interest. However, for all the cliches it employs, (and there are so many on offer here, including, and I quote: 'jumpers for goalposts, oooh, that's what it's all about lad') Goal does a decent job at portraying the action on-field, and these are probably the best moments in the film. Anna Friel also has a half-decent supporting turn as a Geordie nurse (the best kind!) and cameos from Becks, Zizou and Raul add a little pzazz to proceedings. Also, the crew appear to have had pretty much total access to the Newcastle squad, facilities, and stadium, so Kieron Dyer manages to make his big-screen debut here, sending shockwaves around Hollywood I imagine. (sorry, that's a football joke, and a bad one)

So, honestly, there were moments in Goal that, at some fundamental level I enjoyed. Well, let's face it, as a football fan I'm firmly ensconced in the target market for this movie. But wait! Don't for a minute let yourself think that I thought this was a good film! Fans of football may enjoy parts of it, cos Steven Gerrard's in it like, but, almost anyone else should avoid it, because it's very predictable and very very silly.

Verdict: Soppy cliched footie story, although the action is quite well filmed.
Rating: 5/10